I weep for Lisa
Last night I attempted to get to fall asleep between midnight and 2:30AM. It didn't happen. Instead, I cried, sobbed, prayed, talked with Pete, tossed about, and blew my nose alot. Earlier on Tuesday(3/27) I had gone into GHS to get my mail as PTA Pres. there. I am on Spring Break from where I teach, so what am I doing?.......going to another school where daughter Lindsey is a senior of course! Anyway, within a few minutes I was approached by two wonderful teachers that I know well who asked me if I had heard what had happened. No I had not. To my shock and dismay and sadness, a father of another senior had committed suicide very recently. His wife's name is Lisa. Although I do not know this family all that well, even though our kids grew up together and are about the same ages, we hung in different circles due to the different things our kids did. Our kids were more into music stuff, scouting, dance classes, etc. and their kids were big into sports. Anyway, I do not know any details of his suicide and I don't want to.
The fact is a 40-something man took his life and left a wife and three kids, ages 23, 20, and 18. For this I weep for them all.
In amongst the midnight-2:30AM time, Pete and I talked. He said he just does not understand suicide as it is the most selfish act any person could do, obviously the most desperate, too. We talked more and I reminded him of my pregnancy 19 years ago with Lindsey......I had "pre-partum" blues, not post. I was indeed clinically depressed when I called an mental health hotline and asked how I could kill myself but not the baby. Well, duh.....that is not a possibility.
Those health line workers had me connected in no time flat with my ob/gyn in Toldeo, OH.
I went there with the other two kids (then ages 3 and 1) and talked at lenghth with my good ob/gyn. I had an adult or teens from my wonderful church with me throughout the week and family there on weekends for about 4-5 months to make sure I did not do anything AND to take care of Joe and Bethany. Pete was there when he could, but he worked 60 hour work weeks then. All those who helped me in my desperate time of need were angels from God as far as I am concerned. With being pregnant and clinically depressed, no meds could be given for possible damage to the baby........the baby who is now 18. I asked Pete,"Do you honestly think that at the moment someone takes their life, they are thinking, "Oh gee, how will this affect my son or daugher or mother or father or friends?" No way, they are somehow lost in an abyss of desperation and depression with no hope in their own minds. Pete knows this, too.
The best book I have ever read regarding suicide is "Goodbye Jeanine, " A Mother's Faith Journey After Her Daughter's Suicide (at age 19) by Joyce Sackett published by NavPress.
I would highly recommend it for anyone to read. In the meantime, I weep for Lisa and family.
The fact is a 40-something man took his life and left a wife and three kids, ages 23, 20, and 18. For this I weep for them all.
In amongst the midnight-2:30AM time, Pete and I talked. He said he just does not understand suicide as it is the most selfish act any person could do, obviously the most desperate, too. We talked more and I reminded him of my pregnancy 19 years ago with Lindsey......I had "pre-partum" blues, not post. I was indeed clinically depressed when I called an mental health hotline and asked how I could kill myself but not the baby. Well, duh.....that is not a possibility.
Those health line workers had me connected in no time flat with my ob/gyn in Toldeo, OH.
I went there with the other two kids (then ages 3 and 1) and talked at lenghth with my good ob/gyn. I had an adult or teens from my wonderful church with me throughout the week and family there on weekends for about 4-5 months to make sure I did not do anything AND to take care of Joe and Bethany. Pete was there when he could, but he worked 60 hour work weeks then. All those who helped me in my desperate time of need were angels from God as far as I am concerned. With being pregnant and clinically depressed, no meds could be given for possible damage to the baby........the baby who is now 18. I asked Pete,"Do you honestly think that at the moment someone takes their life, they are thinking, "Oh gee, how will this affect my son or daugher or mother or father or friends?" No way, they are somehow lost in an abyss of desperation and depression with no hope in their own minds. Pete knows this, too.
The best book I have ever read regarding suicide is "Goodbye Jeanine, " A Mother's Faith Journey After Her Daughter's Suicide (at age 19) by Joyce Sackett published by NavPress.
I would highly recommend it for anyone to read. In the meantime, I weep for Lisa and family.
posted by JodiTucker @ 7:30 AM
3 Comments:
At 9:27 PM,
mysamiam said…
Prayers for your friend Lisa. It is hard. My only sibling and little sister took her life 5 years ago at the mere age of 31. People made comments before the funeral that it was too bad she didn't know the Lord. I believe in a God that loves all, even those in times where mental anguish and unclear thoughts take over. My sister struggled with mental illness for years due to severe abuse and she knew the Lord to the best of her ability. She could not focus enough to read the Bible or even pray somedays because of her mental situation. And God will take care of all, He will take care of Lisa and her family. But...they are human and can and will hurt too. We are all human.
At 4:12 PM,
Lora said…
Sam's mom said it well, I could add nothing except that I know what it's like to hurt so very bad that I wanted to take my own life...it's a horrid feeling and you are right about that person not thinking about how it would effect others.
You are such a compassionate person Jodi, you know the true meaning of what love is and understanding. You have helped me through some tough stuff and you have touched my life with your words of wisdom and kindness.
Thank you for everything and I am glad that you wrote this post. Take care my friend. May you have a blessed day.
At 7:08 PM,
kristi said…
My niece's boyfriend just commited suicide last week. He was 31 and he had 4 children. I dated his older brother at one time and I didn't get along with their Mom but I feel so sad for her. She had to bury one of her children this week and no Mom ever wants to go thru that.
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